Pashinyan: On How Armenia is Getting Stronger

Pashinyan recently wrote a piece, posted in Haykakan Zhamanak and his webpage, that really caught my eye. Here it is:

ON HOW ARMENIA IS GETTING STRONGER

In his last press conference Serge Sargsyan heralded the people of Armenia with the news that even if it turns out that Turkey turned Armenia like a little screw, it won’t really be a problem, because Armenia will come out of it even stronger than before. The coalition forces chimed in, saying: “Ah, the whole world will know that Armenia is prepared to establish relations with Turkey without preconditions.”

Actually, up till now, the world wasn’t aware, actually the world hadn’t even realized, that the closed border between Armenia and Turkey first and foremost harms Armenia, turning it into a courtyard with two walls. And now, with this statement, the world will think that it is Armenia that has blockaded Turkey. This piece of “news” will run international headlines, announcing: “Hear this, oh, you people of the world, Armenia was ready to lift the blockade against Turkey with no preconditions, but that ungrateful Turkey didn’t take advantage of the golden opportunity. And so now, because of Turkey’s immature politics, Armenia has won a diplomatic victory and is stronger because it’s suffocating Turkey.”

Absurd! Totally Absurd!

When we follow Serge Sargsyan’s thoughts, it becomes clear that in Armenia, Haylur-ism has become state ideology. Now, let’s look at what Serge Sargsyan is saying from this perspective. He says that it’s possible that the authorities in Armenia might be wrong in calculating their games with Turkey. But, he insists that even if that’s the case, Armenia will just become stronger. So, now we know that miscalculation is the number one weapon of Armenia’s foreign policy. You miscalculate, you get more powerful, then you miscalculate again, and you get even more powerful, then you keep miscalculating, and you get much more powerful.

In your opinion, how did Armenia submit not just Azerbaijan, but all of her enemies, to diplomatic genocide during the years of the Kocharyan-Sargsyan rule? Of course, but of course, because they miscalculated! Just between us, miscalculation is a weapon you can’t control because if you calculate correctly, your opponent can figure out your miscalculations. If, however, you miscalculate, your opponent can’t figure it out. Idiocy is an immeasurable and unpredictable asset. That’s why, in current politics, the honorable Knights-- Sir Edik Nalbandyan and Sir Vardan Oskanyan--are in the Super Directorate of Armenia’s current foreign policy. They can make the kinds of miscalculations that even the failing graduates of the school for morons will not be able to understand!

But we digress too much! We were speaking of Haylurism and maybe it’s appropriate to explain its uniqueness. For example, frosts are possible in Armenia, but there’s nothing to worry about, because even if frost hits the crops, they will only bloom and develop because of it. Emigration out of Armenia is becoming alarming, but there’s really no need to be concerned about it because the more people leave Armenia the more the number of voters will be. Crime statistics are going up, but one should only be happy, because the State is honest with its own people and does not hide the Truth. The economic crisis has reached Armenia, but that should give us all reason to be happy because we finally know that even we, poor slobs, are part of this world!

Just think, we had almost lost hope because when people all over the world were happy, Armenians were miserable. Now, the economic crisis has made a lot of people miserable, and we finally measure up to international standards. And so what if Armenia’s economy collapses, we’ll just come out of it stronger, because the most powerful people are those who have nothing else to lose.

And that is the Serjandakan strategy to make Armenia more powerful!

[photo from Nikolpashinyan.com]